Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Lime War II



I've made two lime pies in the last couple of weeks. The first (pictured here) was made with common, Persian limes. These are the limes you are familiar with, the ones you've seen next to the lemons on the produce aisle for years. They're about the size of a lemon, just green instead of yellow. The second pie, was a "real McCoy" (to quote Cousin Al) Key Lime Pie. I was surprised to find these limes at the local Publix. They came in a little net-style bag, about 20 to a bag. And I used around 15 of them for my pie.

The Key lime is neither original nor unique to the Florida keys. Information from about.com indicates that the Key Lime actually originated in the Indo-Malayan region, before making it's way to Palestine and Mediterranean Europe. It traveled to Spain, before some guy named Columbus brought it to Haitian soil...from there it migrated northward to Florida. And today most Keys are grown in Mexico. A "true" Key lime, then, has nothing to do with where it is grown (be it Jerusalem, Madrid, Port-au-Prince, or Key West, but rather, the type of lime that it is.) If location of production was "key," (pun intended), I guess Jerusalem might be the original. Taaank ya, Jesus!

Jesus (aka Key) Limes are reputed to be sweeter (holier) than their more tart Persian counterparts. But that's only if you allow the Jesus's to fully ripen to a yellow color. If you juice (crucify) them when greener or yellow-green, they are more tart, which probably explains why Jesus Lime and Persian Lime Pies taste the same. (By the way, that gives me an idea for the third phase of my experiment...letting the Keys get fully yellow before juicing (crucifying) them. Maybe that will sweeten (resurrect) the taste. If nothing else, it's another Key Lime Pie to devour!)

If you like the idea of using Jesus Key Limes in your pie, grab 'em (begin worshiping)! I probably will, now that I've found them in my local Publix (Cathedral). But if you can't find them, it's no heresy to choose the non-Jesus (Devil?) variety...in fact, I dare say even Jesus would approve of the Persian Lime!

And if you find the rare black lime...give that a shot, too (it's not evil). Don't expect it to look as pretty in a pie, though. Oh yeah, don't forget the meringue, and that extra lime zest on top...that's enough to sweeten (resurrect) even the most tart (sinful) of pies!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

The Prolific Steve Buscemi




This guy does it all: he's an actor, writer, producer, director. You've seen him as Tony Blundetto in The Sopranos, as the crazy cross-eyed friend of Longfellow Deeds (played by Adam Sandler) in Mr. Deeds, and as the homeless Egg McMuffin loving friend in Big Daddy. (He even had a brief role in the great Pulp Fiction.




But he's also a director and producer. A very underrated movie, Lonesome Jim (starring the underrated actor Casey Affleck), was directed by Buscemi. I'm adding this movie to my faves in my profile.


Here...check out all his credits from imdb.com: http://imdb.com/name/nm0000114/#director. Here is "Crazy Eyes" in Mr. Deeds...funny movie: http://youtube.com/watch?v=OaExAJItfno.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Strawberry Jam


Ah, the simple pleasures of life...sleeping in, sitting by a crackling fire with a good book or a good movie, and slathering strawberry jam onto a hot buttered biscuit. As flavors go, grape is alright, if that's all you have. But there's no beating strawberry jam in my book of jam flavors.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

GO G-MEN!


Let me take this opportunity to share that I'll be pulling hard for the New York Jints in Super Bowl XLII. The Pats are good...damn good, in fact; but I don't want them going undefeated. They are excessively arrogant. I admit it...I want to see them fall on their faces.


In my humble opinion, I think the Pats are ripe for a beating. They've had some close games this season; indeed, the Giants themselves almost beat them a few weeks ago. I look for the New Yorkers to continue their red-hot ways and end the New Englanders' hopes for perfection.


(I wish no ill will toward Heath Evans, starting fullback for New England, and former Auburn star. May he be the only bright spot for his team.)


Go G-Men!

Thursday, January 17, 2008

"No soup for you!"


Listening to Mike and Mike on ESPN Radio this morning, I heard an interesting story. With the New York Giants visiting the "frozen tundra" of Lambeau Field in Green Bay this weekend (by the way, current highs are projected at 6 degrees), the Packers are looking for any edge they can find.


Apparently, they're worried a bit about the white-hot Eli Manning, who in addition to back-to-back stellar playoff performances, may also be "intercepting" Jessica Simpson from Tony Romo (see previous post below). So what are the fine people of Green Bay doing to distract Manning? Well, since Eli enjoys Seinfeld, the local station that airs the re-runs is pulling it off the air Saturday night. How cruel is that? I'm definitely pulling for the Giants now.


"Serenity now!"

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Poor Tony Romo


I honestly feel bad for the Cowboys' Quarterback. He had a great "sophomore" season in Dallas, found himself a nice looking girlfriend along the way (Jessica Simpson, you might have heard), enjoyed a nice vacation to Mexico at his tearful and supportive teammate Terrell Owens' expense, then comes back and leads his Cowboys team to a first round loss at home. It was the first time in the current playoff format that a number one seed has lost in the first round.


To make matters worse, it appears from the photo that the lovely Simpson has exchanged her love of Romeo...excuse me, Romo...for that of the victorious quarterback, Eli Manning of the Giants. Damn, women can be cruel.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Frankenstein and Other Monsters


Have you ever seen a person who resembled a monster? Recently my coups (aka cousin) Allen shared a photo of his father, my uncle. In the picture, he was a teenager, and looked a bit like Frankenstein. His skin was not green, no bolts jutted out of his neck, but something about his movements reminded me of ole Frank. Was he emerging from a dark cave or dungeon? You be the judge.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Favorite Toilet Activities



What do you like to do on the toilet, besides, of course, the obvious? When taking a Nick Saban, do you like to read? What kind of books? Machiavelli's The Prince or something humourous? Or do you read newsletters, mail, or magazines? Have you ever taken your laptop to the throne? It's not a bad way to pass time (while passing waste). Think of all the emails you can send, or bills you can pay, or tetris games you can play!

In short, why not make your private time in the thunderbox productive time?

Make sure to vote for your favorite activity in the john...there on the right -->

Practice, man...we talkin' 'bout practice...


Just this morning I revisited one of my favorite all-time youtube videos, the Allen Iverson presser where he responded to criticisms about missing practice. It makes me laugh every time. And I see his point: I mean, what's more important, "practice," or a "game?" Perhaps you agree. Which word do you think Iverson used more often in the video, "game" or "practice?"

Thursday, January 10, 2008

iPod and Ear Plugs


Yesterday I was pedaling away on my exercise bike, listening to my iPod (Safety Dance by Men Without Hats was on I think). The volume seemed a bit loud, so I thought to myself..."I should grab my ear plugs." Then I realised I couldn't have both ear plugs and earphones in my ear at the same time...oh, the irony.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The REAL BCS Championship


There has been so much football over the past week or so that I almost forgot about the most important participants: the cheerleaders!

Often overlooked by zealous sports nuts, we should by no means ignore the contributions of these merry cutie-pies to their teams as well as to leering male fans.

So be a good citizen and vote for the only BCS championship that matters:

Friday, January 4, 2008

"Groin"


And the name of my son's new Webkinz Spotted Frog is (drum roll please)......... GROIN!


What are Webkinz? They are small stuffed animals that can be played with in real life as well as online. Both of my kids, especially my daughter, log in to http://webkinz.com/ often. If you're unfamiliar with the Webkinz craze, then I can only assume you don't have young children. My daughter has 26 Webkinz; my son has 12 or 13.


Now...why my son named his frog "Groin" is anybody's guess. But he comes by his silliness honestly.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Seinfeld and Philosophy


Today I left the friendly confines and embarked on an unenviable journey to the following stores: Barnes & Noble, Old Navy, Game Stop, Target, Dillard's, and Sam's Club. No, I didn't want to do it, but gifts had to be returned. So I girded up my loins and went out on a cold and blustery day (my apologies to Winnie the Pooh). (By the way, Allen, I heard it was snowing in Asheville today...)


Anyway, at Barnes & Noble, I went straight for the philosophy section, as I always do. I was actually looking for books by the late Eastern mystic Osho, but I stumbled upon the intriguing title, Seinfeld and Philosophy. Of course, I had to pick that up.It's billed as "a book about Everything and Nothing!" I plan to share nuggets of Seinfeldian wisdom with you in the coming days.


Signed,
Independent Jeff

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Busted!


I'm not one of those guys who wears funny t-shirts...you know, the ones with the cute, punny, or corny sayings on them. But I think I'm getting closer to being one of those guys. I love reading the hilarities on those shirts, and there are a few I would wear. There are the silly funny ones, and there are the offensively funny ones. I like both of them, but I know I'm not the type to wear the offensive ones. No, my style is more like these: http://bustedtees.com/.


My friend "Big Wayner" and I used to talk about buying and wearing those tees around. We had two ultimate faves among the rest:



  1. the guy in the shirt and tie with fur covered "bear" arms..."The Second Amendment" http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/secondamendment/male

  2. the guy's face with a full beard..."Beards...They Grow on You."http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/beards/male

If you find those funny, then check out their other shirts. There are legions. Are you a PlayStation "Guitar Hero"? Then here: http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/guitarhero/male


Are you Amish? Then you don't drink or drive. http://www.bustedtees.com/shirt/amish/male


Did you realise that George W. Bush has aides? Or that Everybody Loves Ramen? Or that Missouri Loves Company?


Let's make it our resolution this year to wear a funny shirt. Happy Festivus!